My neck

[neckclicker]

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I'll never know.

Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)...

Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn't be happening, because I didn't deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
It is when I get an "extreme" case that I get upset.
Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven't really spoken before.
It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

I now think of many things that "would have" happened had we spoken, but that haven't happened.

You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don't think this is "the right time" and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn't have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

that annoys me, because that is not true.
I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn't work I will be so upset.
Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.


I welcome you guys to challenge my thoughts, and give me good advice.

Thanks in advance

[dianne]

I have a feeling you're going to get the very same welcome here as you got in PBS since a lot of us are from the same community ---but I could be wrong as I often am!

[Renegade]

Since I've seen you post this exact same message on over a billion different forums, I'm not about to let you make my board look stupid by repeatedly posting about it here. In other words, this response is the only time your neck will be discussed here and you will be banned immediately if you make any more posts about it. Whether you're really worreid about it, or you just post everywhere for a reaction, I dont' really care - here, it won't happen.

If by soem chance you happen not to be amking the whole thing up just to wind people up, then I'm going to say - noting that this is not a professional opinion and you should always consult a doctor first - that you probably have some form of anxiety disorder. Stop wasting your money on chiropractors, stop wasting your doctor's time, and stop posting about it on every forum on the intetrnet and see a psychologist who specialises in anxiety and related disorders instead. Personally I'd recommend you read about body dismorphic Disorder and possibly hypochondira to start with. However as noted already this is not a medical support forum and neither I nor anyone else here is able to diagnose you or offer any further advice than what you're already been told everywhere else I've seen you posting this sort of message.