i|i
New Member
Yes, it's me..lol
Posts: 48
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Post by i|i on Feb 15, 2004 15:08:25 GMT
Ppl know I love quotes. I wonder if you would like to share your favourite ones as well  One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~ Rita Mae Brown
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. ~ Albert Camus
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again. ~ Og Mandino
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Nick
New Member
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Post by Nick on Feb 15, 2004 15:18:55 GMT
My all time favorite, but always true is:
"Wish in one hand, crap in the other."
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i|i
New Member
Yes, it's me..lol
Posts: 48
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Post by i|i on Feb 16, 2004 19:25:38 GMT
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ~ Unknown
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing
himself. ~ Leo Tolstoy
The secret to my success is to rise early, work late and strike oil...~ J. Paul Getty.
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Post by Nocando on Feb 18, 2004 0:42:19 GMT
One of my favorite quotes:
Happiness is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warm.
Isn't it great ;D
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Post by television on Feb 18, 2004 14:08:28 GMT
I was reading a book...it was called the history of glue...i couldn't put it down ~ Tim Vine
not my favorite quote, but he's my favorite comedian
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Post by LazyBoy on Feb 25, 2004 22:21:22 GMT
"Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" - its not a quote but its funny anyway "If con is the opposite of pro then surely congress is the opposite of progress.." - One for all you americans out there "Caution - Do not use your hand or gentials to stop chainsaw" - warning on a swedish chainsaw |
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i|i
New Member
Yes, it's me..lol
Posts: 48
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Post by i|i on Feb 25, 2004 22:40:03 GMT
"Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" - its not a quote but its funny anyway "If con is the opposite of pro then surely congress is the opposite of progress.." - One for all you americans out there "Caution - Do not use your hand or gentials to stop chainsaw" - warning on a swedish chainsaw |
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Post by Renegade on Feb 25, 2004 22:41:33 GMT
"Caution - Do not use your hand or gentials to stop chainsaw" - warning on a swedish chainsaw That doesn't sound nice  *note to self - use face next time, the instructions don't exclude that* |
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Post by Nocando on Feb 26, 2004 6:19:32 GMT
"Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" - its not a quote but its funny anyway "If con is the opposite of pro then surely congress is the opposite of progress.." - One for all you americans out there "Caution - Do not use your hand or gentials to stop chainsaw" - warning on a swedish chainsaw Haha, those are great! |
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Post by Rage of Thor on Feb 26, 2004 17:37:57 GMT
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"Feeling stupid today? I know I am!"
"Don't worry! I did the taxes LAST year."
---All by Homer Simpson
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Post by LazyBoy on Feb 26, 2004 21:52:21 GMT
hehe tbh everything homer simpson says could be put on here tbh  "If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you" - that wasn't him but myih oh, and "have you tried it wet yet?" - kitchen roll advert in UK |
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Zact
New Member
Posts: 27
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Post by Zact on Feb 27, 2004 2:27:26 GMT
As a young boy, when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school, you wonder if you should go home and change, but be late for school, or go to school the way you are; dirty and soaking wet. Well, while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
All by Jack Handey
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Post by LazyBoy on Feb 28, 2004 17:03:03 GMT
who the hell is jack handey? sounds like a funny bloke |
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Zact
New Member
Posts: 27
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Post by Zact on Mar 2, 2004 0:33:34 GMT
as far as I know he's just some author with funny life observations...like this one:
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
- Jack Handey
he was also on SNL for quite some time.
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Post by sayboy on Mar 2, 2004 0:48:17 GMT
I have no fav quotes dont evan love quotes
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