homer simpson - pretty much everything he says..
Yeah, I keep a document of all my favorite Simpson quotes! Here are a few:
“Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”<br>~Homer, The Simpsons
“I never apologize. I'm sorry, that's just the way I am!”<br>~Homer, The Simpsons
“ ‘To start press any key’. Where’s the ANY key? I see Esk, Catarl, Pig-up. There doesn’t seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All of this computer hacking is making me thirsty! I think I’ll just order a TAB.”<br>~Homer, The Simpsons
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"
~Homer, The Simpsons
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."
~Homer, The Simpsons
Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.
;D Well, I could quote The Simpsons all day!!! Here are a few not from The Simpsons:
“If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?”<br>~Abraham Lincoln
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
"I'm not here, I've gone out to look for myself. If I come back before I return, please tell me to wait."
~Andrea Pusillo~
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
~Ambrose Bierce~
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
~Rita Mae Brown~
"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'"
~Steven Wright~
Here are some of mine: few deep, most funny (to me):
